Oh, people. Is there a more annoying species on the planet? You’d think we’ve sunk so low that there could only be improvement. But no. I see it getting worse. We have not hit rock-bottom yet and that scares the crap out of me. Our extreme, self-centric behaviors at the expense of basic courtesy is becoming a rampant virus, one with a strain so virulent that nobody can even think about finding a cure.
The damage from the virus increases exponentially. Let’s give up the feckless War on Drugs and War on Crime, shall we? Let us instead declare the War on Stupidity.
Case in point: I’ve noticed that virtually every time I’m waiting in a checkout line, the person behind me gives me absolutely no space whatsoever. None. They might as well blow sweet nothings in my ear and stand on my Achilles tendons.
Sometimes I move forward one inch to see how they react, and sure enough, they move forward one inch so I can still smell their breath, redolent of bacon and eggs.
Do these morons think that climbing on my arse would somehow expedite the pace of the 5 people in front of me? How does that work?
Is it to try and get me to shove the person I’m in back of? Start a domino effect and put everyone on the ground so the ass in back of me and walk on our fallen bodies and get his shit done before everyone? Seriously, I’d like to know: What—Is—The—Thought—Process?
I retract my declaration of the War on Stupidity. I just realized you can’t win that war. What was I thinking up there? The Stupidity strain has taken over, evidenced by the overwhelming popularity of Sarah Palin, Kim Kardashian, and Dane Cook. No one with half a brain could possibly find these people, respectively, knowledgeable, interesting, or funny. Yet the zeitgeist has spoken—YAY!—for these fools.
The War is over. They’ve won.
Still, one of these days when I’m in a line at the supermarket and some dolt is trying to get me to go forward when there’s no where to go, I may have to bring out my airhorn and blast it in their direction.
Hey, I can still win a battle here and there.